While the DeflateGate sharks circled the blood infested waters of New England, BarstoolSports.com founding father Dave "El Presidente" Portnoy volunteered himself for the Night's Watch. Not for the glory or the honor or the accolades, as none of those exist in the Far North. No, he headed northward for the Wall because he leads the only media army brave and noble enough to stem the tide of lies and innuendo seeping from all corners of the American internet. The only news source steadfast and strong enough to turn back the gross exaggerations and complete, utter inaccuracies regarding the integrity of football's greatest dynasty. He headed to the Wall without hesitation and without being asked because his flag, the one emblazoned with Pat Patriot and a simple Viva, carried with it the most important thing of all: the truth.
That truth? The New England Patriots aren't cheaters. They're just plain better than everyone else.
They proved it when they came back from two 14 point deficits in the Divisional Round against Baltimore. They proved it when they blew out the Colts in the AFC Championship. And they declared it once and for all, loud and clear, with their victory in Super Bowl 49 over the Seahawks.
As the newest reports trickle in all but exonerating the New England Patriots from any wrong doing in DeflateGate (and potentially pointing the finger at The Ravens and Colts), those of us in the know simply nod our heads and think to ourselves, "Of course that's how it went down. Haven't you been paying attention to the warrior on the Wall?"
If you're a fan of the New England Patriots or the good guy in general, tip your cap tonight to Dave Portnoy. And, of course, buy a shirt.
This blog was originally published on: Merchbro.